What I'm Trying to Say Is....

Posted on Fri May 29th, 2026 @ 7:44pm by Ensign Sebastian Roydon & Ensign Emily Bowman

1,280 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Episode 1: Shadows of Diplomacy
Location: Sebastian's Quarters
Timeline: The day after Brisco

Location: USS Scharnhorst, Roydon's Quarters

Emily had fully swallowed her pride for lunch, and when her shift was over, decided to stop putting off her nagging conscience. She had put on something casual and was trying to look as unassuming and casual as possible. She'd tracked down Sebastian's quarters and rang the chime, waiting patiently.

Sebastian was in his quarters, he had just changed over at his uniform. He had put on a workout outfit, it was about to go get some evening chow and then go work out in the gym to burn it off. He was listening to music pretty loud as he was changing ooutvofvhis duty uniform.

He felt a little stiff all day. All the sudden he hear the door chime he wasn't expecting anybody. He wondered if Kaayu Shir, was surprising him today. She seemed to be the only one that was interested in him.

Sebastian walked over to the door, expecting to see Kaayu, and was shocked to see nurse Bowman. "Nurse Bowman, is everything all right?" He asked, a little nervous. Usually nurses didn't make home visits unless there was something seriously wrong. His first thought, was, did something show up in his examination?

Emily licked her lips, nervously. "Can I come in? I'm sorry to bother, but there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Please tell me I'm not dying." Sebastian said a little concerned as he made the gesture with his hands for her to walk in. He was a little concerned on what she wanted to tell him.

She stepped inside, rolling her eyes a bit before turning to face him. "You aren't dying," she said, somewhat exasperated. "I just...the other day, at lunch, I got the impression your feelings were really hurt, and I didn't mean to take it that far. I was just...I don't know. You kinda annoyed me in Sickbay when we met, and I wanted to give you some shit for it, but I meant it in good fun. I didn't mean to upset you, so...I'm sorry." She folded her arms over her chest and shrugged.

Sebastian was not sure what to say. He remembered the incident. He tried to forget about the embarrassment. But here was Emily, bringing back the memory. Was she being sincere, she looked sincere. He was speechless for the first time in his life. "Okay." Was he could think to say. He was at a loss for words.

"Is that 'okay, I accept your apology'," she said, "or 'okay now get the hell out'?"

"Okay as in, I am still processing this whole scene." Sebastian said, feeling still at a lost of words. He knew he needed to face this now. No more avoiding it. "I don't think you need to apologize. Because, were you wrong? Wasn't I mass flirting as you put it?" He said, admitting his own fault. If anything, he should be apologizing to her.

"Oh, I was one hundred percent right about why I was busting your balls," Emily assured him with a chuckle. "I just felt I was too hard on you in response." She put her hands gently on her hips. "You were a bit rude, ogling a woman in front of me and then trying to charm me up, you know."

"I'm not going to argue the charm versus the flirting but how was I rude? Is it rude to flirt with a girl? And by the way it's not just me a lot of girls flirt with multiple guys at the same time. I think it's just part of the game. You and I both know how intense the dating scene is." Sebastian said as he decided to be honest with her, and drop his flirtatious guard, that he normally kept up. He didn't really give her an opportunity to respond he took a quick breath and then continued on.

"It was easier to be over flirtatious, versus actually talking to people about my attraction to them or how I truly felt." He started to explain. On one hand he was annoyed that she came to bother him about this, but on the other hand he was grateful that she felt guilty. Overall he knew that he was in the wrong. "I'm sorry if you thought I was rude."

She folded her arms across her chest in frustration. "Sebastian," she said, slowly, picking her words, "it's not that you were flirting, it's how you went about it." She thought about how to make him understand her point. "Imagine if I'd walked up to you, all smiling and charming and whatnot, then immediately turned and ogled some buff security guy, practically drooling as I stood there, and then when he walked away, went back to flirting with you. How would that make you feel? I'm not claiming to be some innocent virgin here; I do more than my fair share of flirting, but I wouldn't do it in front of someone like that and then treat them like they're just next in line." She blushed hard and looked down for a moment. "Do you get what I'm saying?"

"Hey, I don't want to fight with you. I apologized; I don't know what more you want from me." Sebastian said feeling a little defeated. Not because you was trying to win her heart, mainly because he was just trying to end this. It was sincere when he said he was sorry for making her feel like he was being rude. That honestly was not his intention. He also knew the going back and forth in a pointed debate, wouldn't be beneficial.

Emily nodded. "All right," she said, wishing Zoey hadn't been right. "Well, thanks for that. I'm sorry too." She shook her head and patted his shoulder as she walked out of his quarters. "Good luck, Sebastian."

Sebastian felt like an ass, but what does she really expect? She humiliated him and he wanted to put the whole thing behind him. Zoey did the same thing. And is ego took a big hit. He was devastated. He knew he had it coming, because there was truth and what she said, about his actions in contact.

He had been flirting with every girl on the ship, and he felt bad that Emily thought that was rude. But in his eyes he saw women flirt with men all the time. Sometimes it was to buy them drinks, sometimes it was just to give him attention. He saw it all the time in the lounge.

Sebastian didn't like the double standard, and he wasn't saying that Emily was that way but girls in general seem to be that way. Emily might have been different, because she came and apologized for her part. His ego prevented him from really apologizing back. He knew he did the bare minimum to end this uncomfortable situation

Part of him felt like a coward, for not opening up. He also knew that opening up made you vulnerable. The last thing he wanted, was the field vulnerable. The old classic line, that nice guy finish last, rang in his ear drums.

Any of that ladies preferred confidence but maybe his confidence was a bit too much. Especially after being rejected by Emily and Zoey. He had no idea how to fix the situation. How do you say face and try to build a friendship with somebody who's already deemed that you're a player?

He debated about saying something to her, as he watched her leave but he kept his mouth quiet. What could he really say at this point?

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